To my darling kids,
I've been inspired to leave you this message for the future to see if you'll find it when doing a family tree or are bored out of your minds at work one day and think "Hey I'll Google Mum"
I will be confessing a lot of stuff here you may or may not want to know so if you've found this and are wondering about the mysteries in life keep reading,if you don't want enlightenment on how you grew up to be what you are today...run like hell NOW!
Ok you know how Parlan would never wear shoes in the car and it was always a battle until I told him if I had to hit the brakes hard all the blood will rush to his feet and his feet would explode.Lies all lies people but hey now he wears shoes and I'm hoping his wife will thank me for this.
Danyelle who used too empty a hair conditioner bottle in under a week,yes I lied to you as well you never had a bald spot appearing or a receding hair line,I just got sick of paying for conditioner in bulk.
Teegan you know how I promised I'd never tell anyone about that petrified donut we found under your bed that day when you were seven.Well sorry honey but that story has given many adults the giggles,hell it should never have been there in the first place.I can see you reading this and rolling your eyes and thinking "Damn Mum your such a bitch"It's ok because I think damn Teegan your such a bitch at least once a day.
Mummy loves you all very much but I had to find small ways of entertaining myself when it came to spending so much time with you guys,I bet you bullshit your own kids all the time.
You've all been high maintenance since you've arrived in this world,I'm sitting here wondering what you will all be like in your 20's and feeling sorry for your partners,and vowing I will be nice to them all to make up for the fact they are having to put up with you.
Ok maybe I'll finish my confession another day it's emotional work and I'm starting to feel like a bad parent now that it's all in writing but remember you never missed out on anything except for maybe a pony and Teegan if you wanted a pony so damn much now that your an adult and working go and buy that fuckin' pony.
You are and were all very loved even when you were pissing me off and I wanted to run away from home I still loved you with all my heart.Yes Teegan I am writing this while I'm in the family tree stage that you are hating so much but that you will never have to do for your children because I have already done all the hard work.
I hope this has given you a little insight to your inner child
Love Mum
PS Wait until I confess about the guinea pig and the DC shoes :)
