Elephant Sex

I have a friend who suggested I write about elephant sex, but how much can you write about large grey smelly animals having sex?

Elephant sex appears in the Karma Sutra described as, "When your mistress lays breasts, arms and forehead to the carpet, raising her buttocks high, and you guide your penis into her yoni, it is Aibha (the Elephant)"

I have also heard the term used when a guy picks up the largest,saggy female in the bar and takes her home only to wake up next to his conquest in the morning with no escape route.So with a killer hangover and a violent need for escape he gives her his phone number and shoves her out the door.Only to be the victim of hang up phone calls and the fact she knows of every woman he even glances at for the next 6 months.Oh the joys of elephant sex found after far to many drinks.

How can you tell elephants have been having sex in your garage? All of your hefty bags are missing.

In 2003 an Elephant logo was rejected for the Bangkok World AIDS conference because the elephant wasn't wearing a condom.What were they thinking leaving that poor elephant unprotected.

Every nation had to write a book about the Elephant, these were the results:

The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant
or: 1000 ways to cook Elephant
The English book - Elephants I have shot on Safari
The Welsh book - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and
culture
The American book - How to Make Bigger And Better Elephants
The Japanese book - How to Make Smaller And Cheaper Elephants
The Greek book - How to Sell Elephants for a Lot of Money
The Finnish book - What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People
The German book - A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6.
The Icelandic book - Defrosting an Elephant
The Swiss book - Switzerland: The Country Through Which Hannibal Went
With His Elephants
The Canadian book - Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
The Swedish book - How to reduce your taxes with an elephant.
The Australian book - Elephant? What bloody Elephant?

Ok I'm out of ideas want more information on elephant sex you can grab your binoculars and head to your local retirement villas or simply Google the term and be scared stupid by what appears on Youtube or read horror stories of trying to explain what the the children saw at the zoo.