Running Block

Have you ever tried to do a friend a favour but in reality you've just ended up torturing yourself? Well that was me tonight. I have friend T she has had a crush on this guy forever and he finally asked her out on the provision she found his mate a date too. So T comes to me, I'm sure after trying to persuade friends more willing and begs me for a few hours of my time to double date with her and Mr Fabulous. I knew at the time it wasn't going to be pretty, but hey it was only going to be a few hours over dinner right, surely I could last that long and give my besty a shot at Mr Fabulous. Mr F is an ok guy so I'm thinking his friend won't be so bad. A few drinks and maybe a few laughs and I'll survive.

I spent most of the afternoon trying to put myself into the right frame of mind for dinner and reminding myself my brand of sarcasm is not usually welcome so be prepared to bite my tongue. So I put on my best face and come what may I'm ready in little black dress and heels. I even took time to put on the warpaint. I arrive at T's place where Mr F answers the door T is still getting dressed and they are waiting on Mr F's friend to arrive. Mr F pours me a scotch and dry and says "You just may need this".
After that statement the worry started to creep in was his mate a hobbit?

T walks out all dressed to impress when the doorbell rings and Mr F answers the door I can hear voices in the hall and well Mr Mystery at least talks English and not caveman. We are introduced and if first appearances are anything he's not so bad 6'4 dark hair and a perfect teeth. We all have one more drink make a bit of small talk and we head out to the restaurant.
We order and Mr M tries to order for me and there is no way in hell am I going to eat veal so I stop the waiter and re order a steak. I like my cow fully grown thanks. As the night progresses I realize Mr M  wouldn't know humor if it bit him on the ass. T and Mr F both have a great sense of humor and can tell a good story so it wasn't through lack of hilarity, but this guy just sat there with a straight face the whole time and just grunted when asked a question. So he is bi lingual English and cave man. 
The only stories Mr M told were about how much money he has and how much women want him for his body. I considered trying to drink this egotistical ass funny but then decided against it because I knew when we got back to T's I was going to put my running shoes on and get the hell out of dodge to do that I had to stay sober enough to drive.
While plotting my escape I dragged T to the ladies room  to tell her she owed me big for making me suffer this tool when a book and my bed was looking far more entertaining she fully understood but could I just PLEASE stay for coffee at her place. I said OK coffee then I'm gone. So we go back to the table where Mr M thought it was a good idea to put his hand on my leg and lean in and tell me just how hung we was. I pretended not to hear and just gave T a"save me" look.
We pay the bill we leave and back to T's for coffee. T and Mr F are going great guns  so maybe tonight was not such a waste I think to myself as I make coffee for everyone. I turn to get the milk from the fridge and who's in my way but Mr M where he proceeds to tell me how luck I am to be on a date with him. That's it my warped side comes out full force and says  "Oh  really and what makes you god's gift to women?" He replies "Well just look at me" I stepped back and looked real hard at him and said "Nope sorry I just can't see it". He started to go a bit red so I gave him my sweetest smile and handed him his coffee. He then tried a new tact by telling me how beautiful I looked, please a little originality would have been nice. Where did Mr F dig up this asshat from?
 I made my excuses to Mr F and told T I'd call her in the morning Mr M said he'd walk me to my car OK fine anything to make the escape a bit faster. At the car he asked for my number I was polite and said sorry but no. He then tried to kiss me goodnight I turned and he got my cheek which I then smiled at him and reached up and rubbed the kiss away. I climbed into the car and started the motor while watching him stalk across the lawn when T's Irish Wolf hound, Dexter, has left a big surprise Mr M put his foot right in, it was truly deserved in my opinion and tomorrow I'm going to buy that dog a bone.

I will never run block again for T or anyone else for that matter. I know I didn't have my best manners out but he started it and maybe he didn't smile all night but I got a good giggle from the steaming pile of dog shit. If I ever see  Mr M again it'll be to soon. If T and Mr F work out great, cos they seem good together.
I prefer to pick my own dates and yes there have been quite a few dud's there like Mr Married and  Mr Drinks-to-much  but at least they were self inflicted torture but I also sometimes pull a good one.