Farts are Funny

          

Farts are funny it's a fact. As much as I tell my son off for sitting next to me and farting, I look around to see people who smirk,giggle and just plain laugh their asses off when confronted by the evil noxious invisible gas that can be silent but deadly or loud and proud.

My best friend may not fart in the elevator but if someone does and she notices,she will claim it as her very own while sporting the biggest grin. My son makes fake farts with his hand under his armpit or behind his knee and he's inexplicably amused by this talent.

Back in school there was always the kid when we played Charades who would  give the movie sign hold up 4 fingers to signify 4 words, fart loudly and then leave the room.......Gone with the Wind.

If someone asks "Who farted?" in any setting there will be giggles and remarks, maybe even praise as well as few looks from non approvers.


Farters come in all shapes and sizes we all do it just how we do it differs.

Sleepers  - The people who fart in their sleep and still have a lil chuckle.
Smelly Yobbo - The person who drops a real stinker and says "Sniff it up it's good for ya!"
The Silent ASSassin- This farter will fart silently in a room but is so fragrant all the people will gag while racing for a door or window. This can sometimes be so powerful it will follow the perp from the room.
Flammable Farter- The goof off who grabs a lighter lighting his fart on fire,  also managing to singe the hairs on his ass and gets the occasional blister.
The Ducthy - A favourite of men who fart in bed and then holding the girlfriend's/wife's head under the covers. This act produces screaming,fighting and sometimes retaliation. Pay back can be a real bitch.
The Animal Blamer- The person that farts,stinks and then looks at the dog and proclaims loudly  "You dirty dog!"
 Which farter are you?

A friend once told me about walking through a supermarket and over hearing a little boy in the next isle ask his Dad to buy him some lollies Dad says "No' the kid asks "Why? " and the reply was "Because I am bigger than you and can fart louder than you" I guess that kid didn't get his lollies.

If cows are contributing to global warming due to all the roughage they eat, aren't vegetarians too?

Fart Facts

The average human will excrete about a litre of  fart gas per day.
A burp is a good fart wasted.                                                                           

Fart gas rises as it's hot air.

Women's farts have a  higher concentration of odor-causing gases than men's farts thus making them smellier.

Ringtones have been made from the common fart.

Want to know more on farting? There have been books written on the subject,websites dedicated totally to this humorous bodily function and medical studies dedicated to the humble fart.